You will begin to understand why the expression: “Sex doesn’t exist in the USSR” is still a popular expression in Russia.

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Everyone understands the legendary phrase that there is “no sex in the USSR” not a long time ago there was shown a few shows on the Russian television regarding this subject. It is same thing as with money in the communism times, not like there are none of them, but…

I will start this article by remembering the story that I read approximately in the middle of eighties in the last century. It is a story about the lady whose name was Claudia, she was an ordinary medium lady- that was a complete example of the soviet lady who was sick and tired of the rules that were dominating in the ex USSR. She was the mother of three children (daughters), though she bore three children, she was quite skinny; and also she was the wife of a police officer.

She was an engineer with the wage approximately 130 rubles (which is equal to 130 dollars at those times). While going home after work she was always carrying a lot of big and heavy bags (as at those times where was lack of goods even in the groceries, so if people were not buying everything before work, there was a risk that after work there will be nothing to buy.

She was not looking very attractive, but at the same time she was quite vivid by her nature, and was always wearing some dresses with printed roses or flowers on them. She was quite simple, and once she said a story of her meeting with a classmate, she exclaimed “he said it is so pleasant to see me, and he was so happy to see me so happy”, and at the same time he said that Claudia looked not very good, and that was the first time when she heard something like this said right into her face.

And by those times where was nothing to do at work, and at the same time youth would not understand, how does that happens that for entire weeks you are sitting and doing nothing, but leaving at home at 16:45 pm instead of leaving at 5 pm is a total scandal. And by the time when all of the scan words as well as the crosswords were done and erased with the eraser, and a lot of coffee has been drank, a few women began talking about their sexual life with a lot of personal details.

Women began talking about who has what kind of magazines at home, by those times having “this” kind of diaries was very rare and it cost a lot of money as the sailors were bringing them abroad with a big risk of losing their job, and quite possible even freedom, that is why people who had such magazines were very accurately treating them and passing from father to son and so on. And the ladies continued the discussion about the information written in the magazines, such as the description of positions, Camasutra thing from the evening and so on!

While Claudia hasn’t ever seen something like this, and didn’t even imagine that something like this really exists. Well she gave birth to three children with her husband police officer, but that was held usually in one and only position, like “he is on the top while she is silent and is not even moving at all”, she didn’t even know that there exists something beside that position. She didn’t have an idea and that’s it!

And at some point her colleagues began the process of teaching Claudia how to behave in the bedroom, at the beginning they were of course astonished and really surprised, and at some point they even thought that Claudia was kidding, but then they realized she was serious they decided to help her. First of all they said that she cannot behave like this, as in one good day her husband will certainly leave her with such a poor sexual life between them. Claudia was the person that did not really understand jokes in principle, but when she realized that her husband might leave her, considering the three daughters that they had together she got very much frightened, that is why she gladly accepted the help of her colleagues.

The next day all of the ladies at work have brought her a few helping books, everything what they had, some of them were written by hand , such as “102 positions lalala”, Swedish photo magazines and so on. They put all of them on her knees and began watching. The risk of bringing forbidden literature on work was completely forgotten in five minutes, and six minutes later they felt a bit of excitement when they saw with which interest Claudia was listing them under her table while jumping from each noise she was hearing, and while watching the pictures she was blushing and that becoming pallid suddenly, and again blushing. And soon the entire programming department has heard her loud voice when she declared that she will certainly not do something like that.

They were able to get closer only some time later in order to see what has frightened her so much and began laughing when we saw that is was the famous “69” position. But the most interesting thing was the next day.

The next day Claudia has come to work being very angry, and began fighting with all of the ladies that were teaching her all of those love tricks, by calling them sluts and “this” type of women”. Later she began telling the entire yesterday story, it seemed that she really tried doing something that was looking moreover like the “69” position in order to make her own husband being attracted by her. And when finally everyone fall asleep, such as her daughters and mother and the roommate (they all lived in one and same room) and the time when everything is allowed has come, Claudia took a deep breath and got the enough bravery in order to grab her husband’s “the place”. I beg a pardon here it is a need to mention some things accurately, as we all are grown up adults, and children nowadays know much more than their parents. The police officer got astonished. For some time more he was lying while being astonished and later he turned his entire body towards her and yelled “where have you learned all those slutty things”?

And the entire rest of the night she was trying to explain to him that that knowledge’s entire she got simply theoretically. That was the rich experience of the intimate life, though not everyone lived with the same life as her, as there were many people who lived their lives happily without having part of some of its interesting parts.

In ex USSR talking about sexual life or simple intimacy was a completely forbidden subject and people were punished a lot if they were bringing the subject, like for example they were able to lose their job or even family due to the interest to the subject. That is why as a result even in a couple or in a family spouses were afraid to speak regarding this issue, as they were terrified that someone else will know. That resulted in the fact that young people or children have known much more details about sex than their parents had. This way the saying that “sex doesn’t exist in USSR” was born.

 

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